Sunday, October 28, 2007

Finally, the Circle is Complete

To Whom It May Concern:

My story is a harrowing tale of both courage and strength. I was born on the border or Ashtabula and Geauga Counties on a stormy day in a manger. I was wrapped in swaddling clothes and visited by three wise men that bore gifts including cigarettes, kamchatka vodka, and a quarter pounder from McDonalds. At the tender age of four I was moved from my comfortable surroundings and forced to live in tough and rumble streets of Timberlake, Ohio (nestled conveniently between Willowick and Eastlake). Finally, I was enrolled at St. Justin Martyr and became the third greatest athlete in school history behind (1) Jason Battung and (2) Joe Jurevicius. At last I had developed into a CYO legend, and was a big part in the 7th grade upset that drove Jeffrey and Algirdas Budrys to tears.Thanks to the Cleveland Catholic School Voucher program I opted to use the welfare system to attend Lake Catholic High School on the upper east side of Mentor, Ohio. There, I flourished as an amazing power forward under the tutelage of the brothers Benek as well as Toys R’ Us favorite son Robert Forrai; Had it not been for the dazzling talents of Luke Smrdel, Damian Blakely, and ever so smooth Patrick Kearns (let’s goooo!) as well as some untimely ankle injuries, I might be writing this post as a 5th year NBA veteran. Unfortunately, instead I write this as I enter my 19th straight year of education.

Here is my summation of Cleveland Sports: I grew up on the shores of Erie...in the land of Cleveland. The home of the catch, red right 88, the drive, the fumble, the shot, the 95 world series, the 97 world series, the dennis northcutt drop, the grady sizemore drop, the 4-0 sweep by the spurs, and now...the epic series of events we can only call "The Collapse" in the 2007 ALCS.Thanks for nothing Cleveland sports teams...nothing but heartache and pain.

My name is James Szorady and my card is American Express. On this blog you may refer to me as former Mayor Michael White.

With me as a member of the this post all the planets of finally come into alignment. Much like Earth Wind Fire and Heart created Captain Planet...adding a Szorady to this already dazzling line up of wordsmiths and gurus assures us a chance at world domination. As far as sports contributions I am a certified college sports experts...I'll leave the pros to you all....

1 comment:

Nick Ricchino said...

Szorady! Damn glad to hear from you (now if we can only get Terry to figure out how to click his mouse buttons and make a user ID). Your contributions to the wire might be that last little bit of karma necessary too bring Cleveland a championship.

I want a preseason breakdown of college basketball, and I'm already looking forward to your March Madness synopsis.

In DA we trust.